Retailer: Criminal Damage to Property, Terroristic Threats

I was working at a retail shop in the mall and saving up for my summer wedding. My boss asked me to work overtime and my fiancé and I were happy to have the extra cash.

With double shifts, the days were long. I cut out early one day in need of a break. My fiancée was not expecting me, and I knew as soon as I opened the door and saw my bitch-ass neighbor’s shoes that the bum was cheating on me.

I could hear them going at it in the other room, so I slipped into the kitchen and grabbed one of those stupid Cutco knives (the ones he spent way too much money on) and headed out to our driveway.

One stab per tire and he was on flats.

At this point, I was no longer trying to be quiet. I wanted them to come out. But I guess they were too busy going at it to hear me. So I crossed the yard to her house and slashed her tires, too. Still nothing. I started calling and texting telling them to come outside so I could kick their asses, but got no response.

After a while, my friend picked me up and calmed me down. It took me longer than it should have to forget about him, but even a minute would have been too long for that bum.