Shoplifting, piracy, tax evasion

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I was a shoplifter when I was in middle school. Almost entirely small stuff — paperbacks, cassettes, nail polish. I gave it up because I realized how embarrassing getting caught would be.

I’m 35 now, and I still sometimes think about sliding something small into my pocket and walking out of the store. 

I’ve pirated pretty much every form of media; smoked pot; bought alcohol underaged; and probably technically driven drunk, though never so far over the limit that I felt unsafe. Oh, and — at her request — we don’t pay taxes for our part-time nanny. Oops.