DWI ‘scum’

In all my life I never thought that I would be that guy.  I never thought that I would be the one walking in a straight line at 3 a.m.  I never thought this would happen to me.  I mean I don’t drink often, or typically much.  I’ll hit up a concert and have a few beers once a month or so.  Once in a great while at home I’ll have a few drinks.  

Well, it happened to me.  I drove drunk.  My night started out with only the best of intentions.  I was going to meet a couple of newer friends in a town about half an hour drive from my house.  The goal was to go out have a few beers and crash at one of their places.  As I said the night started with the best of intentions.  A night filled with the best of intentions can turn so quickly into a night of fragmented memories and a morning of shame and regret.

As the night got going the beers flowed faster and faster.  Once the beers flowed enough the idea of shots somehow sounded like a good idea.  From there all was lost.  I can’t tell you much about it as I can only remember bits and pieces.  

What I can tell you about that night is that it began with the best of intentions and ended with me being filled with an abundance of crushing guilt.  Along with that though, I feel an incredible sense of being the luckiest man alive.  I could have hurt someone.  I could have killed someone.  That is something that I thought that I would never say.  It sickens me to have to say that.  

So after my ordeal has my opinion of drunk drivers changed?  No.  Absolutely not!  Drunk drivers are scum.  They selfishly place their own short term fun over the safety of anyone and everyone unlucky enough to be caught in their path. I should edit that thought; we selfishly place our own short term fun over the safety of anyone and everyone in our path, because I am now one of them.

What I have learned is that drinking is not for me.  I used it to be able to get myself to be more sociable on a rare occaision I wanted to go out.  However I lack the ability to adequately gauge how much alcohol can affect my actions.  2 beers might get me to step out of my shell a little bit.  4 might get me a bit loose.  6 turns me into someone I don’t recognize, into someone I have always hated.

So thats my story.  This is the story of a man who up until recently has always lived a safe reserved life who wanted to go out and just let loose a little.  The story ends with that man waking up the next day unable to recognize the man on the other side of the mirror.