guess which one of us is black

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This might take a while…

Before I turned 18 I had stolen well over $5000 worth of clothes, tools, gasoline, and other random shit. The one time I was caught I wasn’t charged with anything despite having over $200 worth of stolen goods. I was on a school trip at the time. I received a three day suspension/vacation.

After I turned 18 things picked up significantly. While in college I smoked and sold weed nearly everyday. Twice I was caught by cops. They never even asked my name, just told me to toss it. One of those times I was smoking a blunt with my friend on the street. I had both the blunt and the rest of weed (about an oz). My friend got arrested. Guess which of us is white and which is black. I also stole cars regularly, probably over 20 in 4 years. I used them like a rental service, drive and ditch. I also would steal a car late at night and speed by cops to get ’em chasing, then ditch the car across state lines, just for fun. I once transported over 5kilos of coke in my friend’s boat. I’ve been arrested for assault 5 times, never charged. I’ve pirated almost every form of entertainment for years. I’ve hacked hundreds if not thousands of private computer networks, usually just for fun. Those are just the ones I can think of while sitting here smoking weed. I’m a small Jewish dude. Cops never even look at me twice. If I looked a little darker, in the neighborhoods I grew up in, I would be spending my life in prison, without a doubt.