I celebrated my graduations in style. At the end of my senior year of college, my friend and I went bar-hopping and got pretty drunk. On our way home, we made a pit stop to pee right in the middle of the main quad.
Three years later, I finished grad school and visited a friend to celebrate. We got drunk visiting all the bars in the town where he lived, and then we staggered back to his house. Our route took us through a public park and across a river. We stopped on the bridge and peed into the water.
Two months ago, I was on a run on the single-track trails at a city park. I had to go, so I stopped and peed in the woods.
Convicted of all of these, my record would make me out to be a serial urinator.
Add convictions for a few months’ worth of underage drinking, along with providing alcohol to a minor (I once gave a beer or two to my 20-year-old sister), and my record would suggest chemical dependency issues. I am lucky to think of my criminal acts as fun nights with friends, not the incidents that ruined my job prospects.